I want to start writing more. Even if it’s about nothing in general. So here’s to a rough beginning. Today’s Saturday, I slept most of the day, ordered Thai food, and guiltlessly watched Misfits for most of the time I’ve been awake. I’ve been to the gym three times this week, but I vow to go more. I need to look twenty pounds or so, just so I feel a bit better about myself.
I had a disturbing thought today that keeps occurring, I think about catching my boyfriend cheating on me. Is that weird? I play out these weird situations in my head and the various ways I would react. I find myself rehearsing a speech that would be heartbreaking, but I know I’d stay with him in the end. Would I be able to trust him? He’s not that kind of person, at least that’s what he says. He’s never cheated and he’s very proud of that. I just feel insecure sometimes. My solution is to get incredibly fit so that no bitch would be worth it.
I love the way he treats me. This morning he woke me up, singing “baby you’re a firework!” and kept kissing me awake. He told me repeatedly that he was happy I was with him and that he “lava”d me. We haven’t said the L word to each other yet, and it’s been about six months. Should I be worried? His premise is that he doesn’t want to say it until he knows for sure there is no possibility of us breaking up. Sounds pretty serious. I’m just excited for Valentine’s Day because I think we’re going to go to another island and spend the weekend away and together. I can definitely say I’m in love with him and don’t imagine a future without him. I’m lucky.
I’m excited for school. I’m excited to meet new people and to start learning.
